*Sigh*

Dictated by: Lottie The great and amazing
Typed out by: Tzivya typer par excellence ^_^

Okay, *cough* *sniff* (Lottie rubs nose thoughtfully)she tells Tzivya to close her ears so as not to hear her sniff again and then calls Tzivya a fool!!! The rudeness! okay ya ready...

She reprimands Tzivya for typing down everything she's doing. Okay seriously people here's the "real" post.

...As i was walking down ninth and Broadway, i saw this sign on a house, this house has been, standing for, the last many years but nobody has the heart to take it down, see. (Lottie looks over post and thinks of what to say next...this may take some time.) The sign read, " (Lottie chews meditatively on a piece of gum *no the sign didn't read that*) Grand opening! Bob's handy store *all tools fifty percent off on first three days* come, while supplies last." You see, i don't really care much for tools so i didn't bother with going. But what i didn't realize, is that three days from this moment, going into that store changed my life forever.

(three days go by) *walks into store* dingalingaling! When i walked in, the bell on the door made me do a double take. So i saw this man at the cash register, I'll be right back...(pause for break, take this opportunity to go get you popcorn, or stop that fire going on a couple feet away from you. If indeed a fire is going on.) ...Do you know elephants can't jump, well now you do and don't you forget it. This bit of useless information brought to you by: Tzivya. okay back to our story:
*ahem* (Lottie reads over what she has already written and thinks...at least i think she is thinking.) okay, and then i looked around the room. I knew there was a sale going on but why where the shelves still overstocked with, brand new, good quality tools. So i went up to the guy and asked,"So you had a sale going on huh?"
"yeah," the man answered, "I knew i shouldn't have opened this shop. I shoulda listened to my wife who left me yesterday." he said all this with a look of anguish and a Mexican accent.
"I used all my life savings, to get these tools man, and now look i'm bankrupt."
I started to look around the room at everything. things were priced pretty high but, i couldn't let this mans future be, terminated. "I'll tell you what." i said, "I'll tell you what i said (Lottie yells at Tzivya to backspace) *sorry* (pretend the first I'll tell you what is not there) "meet me here tomorrow at 7 am."
"but my store opens at nine, man!" the man said.
"All right," i said. 'Meet me here at...9 am."
"All right man whatever you say man!"


The next day: Dun dun dun!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Fossils!!!! (what the halibut?)
Okay, so i met the man at nine am in his store and i said to him: "Take this envelope, and don't ever try to look for me after you open this!!!" He was like "Okay man whatever you say man!" so i handed him the envelope and he took it and i said,"remember! DO NOT COME LOOKING FOR ME!!!!" he was like "yeah man i heard you man chill like man!"
When i walked out of the store i heard his reaction to seeing what was inside the envelope. I put a note inside that read the following, "Dear Tool man, I'm giving you this money, because i am buying all your tools. I saw they weren't selling and i had to do something about it. Take this money use it for your family. and like i said before, do not lookith for me!!!
"All right man, stop repeating yourself man, i heard you a million times man you need therapy or something man what's wrong wit you!!! man."
And that's how my life changed, i am now bankrupt...


Fin